Everyone is always looking for ways to save a penny, and being a responsible pet owner can be expensive when you consider food, toys, grooming, and veterinary bills. Maybe you have considered adopting a pet, but the price tag is the only thing stopping you. If you need some economical reasons to justify adoption, here are 10 ways you save money by owning a pet:
- Personal Fan ($10)
If it’s hot outside and the AC is broken, don’t you worry because you have your very own personal fan called a dog tail! Those bad boys can go up to really high speeds and can cool you down in a jiffy! Just like normal fans though, do not stand too close or try to touch the “blades” because it can cause injury.
- Alarm Clock ($10)
Who needs a silly alarm clock when you have your very own “wake up and feed me” clock called cats. Cats get hungry and you can bet they are going to be sure to let you know when you need to wake up… to feed them. You also won’t have to deal with that annoying beeping noise anymore and that’s always a plus!
- Portable Heater ($20)
In the wintertime you don’t need a heater because you have your own personal heater… dogs generate an enormous amount of heat with an average body temperature of 102 degrees.The best part is sizes vary so you can pick a bigger or smaller heating unit. For even more heat, adopt another friend… or two! The more the merrier!
- Free Entertainment ($60 per month)
Who needs satellite when you have free entertainment right next to you? Give a cat some crumpled up paper or watch your dog chase its tail. You’ll be entertained for hours without spending a dime! And remember the more pets you adopt, the more entertainment you will receive.
- Gym Membership ($30 per month)
Forget dragging yourself to the gym , or feeling guilty when you don’t go. Adopt a dog and you will have your very own exercise buddy! If you want an extreme workout, adopt two dogs and take them running or walking separately. The best part is Fido won’t give you weird stares while working out like people do at the gym. Fido loves you just the way you are!
- Security System ($40 per month)
Stop paying money to keep burglars out. By the time the police arrive, all your possessions will be gone. Adopt a dog and you’ll have your very own security system. The bigger the better and the more the better! If you’re wanting a sure fire way to keep burglars out, then you need to adopt at least five big dogs… or one chihuahua with a big personality. Chihuahua do not mess around.
- Pest Control/Exterminator ($30 per month)
If you have a pest problem, owning a pet can clear up those pests right away! Mice are no match for cats! Don’t forget that dogs are natural predators, as well, and they don’t like little critters crawling around on their turf.
- Mop ($20) /Vacuum Cleaner ($100)
With a dog there’s no need to ever mop or vacuum the floor because any dropped edible items will be picked up instantly. The floor will be licked thoroughly until spotless. That means all those expensive floor cleaners can be ditched, as well.
- Dishwasher ($300)
Don’t worry about pre-washing ever again! Your dog will lick that bowl clean, lick it again, and then lick it one more time just to make sure he got every last spot! Not only will you save water and electricity, but you will save time because you’ll no longer have to wait for the dishwasher to finish. That’s especially great when you have an ice cream craving but all the bowls are in the dishwasher.
- Therapist ($3,000)
Whether you adopt a cat or a dog, you will have your very own personal therapist. Sure, they have no idea what you’re saying, but that just means they won’t tell a soul! Besides, animals can sense when humans are feeling upset and they will give you comfort and snuggles, something a real therapist would get in big trouble for doing. Lastly, they won’t judge you; they’ve already seen you naked. If that’s not real love, then what is?
That makes for a total of *drum roll please* $5,380 annually! That’s well worth the cost of adopting an animal. It’s like practically paying yourself to adopt an animal. Just remember, the key to saving MORE money is to ADOPT more pets. Seriously, how could you not want to save that much money? Start saving money today and come visit our Adoption Center Mon-Sat 10-5 and Sun 1-5. You’ll be really glad!
*DISCLAIMER: This post is intended for (mostly) humorous purposes and should not be taken too seriously.*
Written by J. Martin, HSNEGA Marketing Communications Specialist
LIFE SAVER TAILS 