Ever wonder what your cat is thinking in that inquisitive brain of theirs? Most cat-lovers believe they’ve got their feline friend figured out for the most part; however, cats, with their often unpredictable behavior, always have something up their sleeves to keep their owner on their toes, which is why we love the little fur balls.
So, whether it be your cat ignoring his litter box and going straight for that new rug you spent most of your paycheck on, or if you’re having trouble keeping those death claws from kneading on your back at 6 a.m. in the morning, I hope this cat questions guide will give you some insight into their sometimes odd behavior.
Question 1:“Why did my cat urinate on things that are not in any way his litter box (couch, rug, mattress, or right next to the bed so I’d be sure to feel it seep through my sock when I got up)?”
Cat Answer: “First off, the next to the bed incident was due to you feeding me dinner an hour late last night. We cats don’t ask for much… food kept at room temperature, petting to be done in intervals of every 3.5 hours, drinking water ONLY from the sink at exactly 4:44 a.m., 9:32 a.m., 1:56 p.m., and 7:03 p.m., and AT LEAST 12 boxes for us to hide in to jump out and scare you at minimum 7 times a day.
However, the most important task we ask you to do is keep our litter box clean. If our sacred alone time is interrupted by the odor of former “alone times,” we will simply get out, find a new location that suits our fancy (one that you will surely be able to find), and do our business there. We do this in hopes you will find our present, hunt for our litter box in anger, and realize how horrible of a servant you are for not cleaning the box sooner.
You should then proceed to clean my box, feed me food from the tin can that you hide so cleverly, and shower me with attention. But not too much. I don’t appreciate clingers.”
Question 2: “What do each of my cat’s sounds mean?”
Cat Answer: “Cat language is a complex language and honestly should be taken up as a mandatory language for humans to learn starting at the age of 3e. Maybe that would have prevented many feline tails from being pulled by food-covered, tiny human hands.
We are vocal in anger, in annoyance, contentment, boredom, and maybe even because we don’t feel well. Your job as our servant is to be able to differentiate between each sound. Here are a list of common sounds and what they can mean:
- The Purr: Our “motor running” usually signals our contentment. It doesn’t mean we are necessarily happy, because we are rarely happy unless catnip is around, but it means we are content with that current situation. Therefore, if we are purring while you pet us, you should not stop until we walk away from YOU. You don’t walk away from us. The purr also can be used when we aren’t feeling well. You see, our purrs have magical abilities that can heal us or make us feel better. It’s true! Take a look at this Website for proof! http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-cats-purr/
- The Quick Meow: “Mew” or “Beep” is how this sounds. It’s a shorter version of a meow, which signals our desire to be let up on the couch, counter, bed, or just given attention. This sound is intended to make us sound adorable so you’ll pay attention to us. The “Meow” and “Wail” come after this if you fail to pay attention to us after three attempts.
- The Classic Meow: Our most commonly used vocabulary, the “Meow”, is used to get your attention or to simply say “Hello.” It is often used after the “Mew” or “Beep”, at which we repeat the “Meow” over and over the same exact way until you give us what we want.
- The Hiss:– If you hear us hiss we are either afraid or angry. We commonly perform this sound at annoying, big, goofy dogs who try to put their nose in everyone’s business – literally. Clumsy little things. I mean, they can’t even land on their feet when they fall.
I hope this guide to cat sounds will help you humans understand us a little better.
Question 3:Why does my cat always attack my feet?
Cat Answer: “Believe me, we don’t always like to. You people should really consider grooming your paws every once in awhile. But alas, when we get extremely bored and haven’t been played with in hours, we may be forced to resort to “foot hunting.”
You humans like to move a lot, from room to room, with no shoes. This is just too perfect of an opportunity to hunt, which is one of our favorite hobbies. Depending on the size foot, we pick an animal form for the foot to take on like a chipmunk or mole.
We then find an appropriate hiding spot in the kitchen (a human’s favorite place) and hide for as long as it takes. Even if you call for us, we will not jeopardize the hiding spot. The element of surprise is the most important part of the hunt, so once you meander in, I wait for you to stop in front of the fridge and then BAM. One chipmunk down. I continue this hunt in every room until you give me something less smelly to play with or some nice catnip.
Cats are independent, unpredictable creatures. While we may not always be able to put a finger on what goes on in those complex, opinionated brains, that’s what makes them such remarkable animals. So, next year on National Answer Cat Questions Day, I’m sure there will be an entire new set of questions to ask about our furry little dictators.
If you’re interested in a new kitty addition for your home, visit our adoption page here for real-time available kitties or stop by our Adoption Center Mon-Sat 10-5 or Sun 12-5.
Disclaimer: cats have personalities and some are ‘grumpy’ and some are affectionate. The author of this work took creative liberties for humorous purposes. The cat in this post’s photos is an affectionate and mild natured kitty. We ask that you do not hold a bias toward cats as they are great companions and deserving of homes.
Nikkie Means, Marketing Intern, Humane Society of Northeast Georgia